11.23.2009

The LSM Club and stuff

Hello my friends. First off, it's that time of year again. People magazine has named Johnny Depp "The Sexiest Man Alive" and quite frankly, who can blame them???? Have you noticed that they don't run a "Sexiest Woman Alive" issue? Just sayin'.

Anyway, in their effort to get 110 of the HOTTEST men on the planet in their magazine, they put in a blurb for "Best Chests". I was EXCITED! Below are the guys that People magazine named with the "best chests". While I can't argue with all of their choices, I think they should have contacted me first...

This last guy, was on the inside cover of the above referenced People magazine with a blurb that said "ideas are sexy too". I had to share with it all of you, because, HELLO!!!! Who knew Einstein was such a hottie? Anyone?

I wanted to let everyone know that I'm taking the rest of the year off from blogging, writing, possibly reading and other things that are not holiday and/or family related.

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL holiday season. I will miss you and look forward to seeing you all next year.

May the best of your past be the worst of your future. Have a safe holiday season.


11.21.2009

Saturday Morning Humor

My husband and I saw this guy live years ago, he's too funny to not see if you get the opportunity.






This guy is just hilarious!

11.13.2009

CMA Awards

First of all, I would like to say, I know the whole Taylor Swift/Kanye West thing is old news, HOWEVER, country music forgets nothing. Get a good laugh about 42 seconds into this video.



Happy Friday my friends.

11.10.2009

LSM - So You Think You Can Dance

I'm late, I'm sorry. I got sidetracked by all the hot hard bodies that are available for this post. So the bonus with this particular group of LSM's is not only are they LSM's but they CAN dance! You gotta love that. In honor of my daughter and I going to see the SYTYCD tour this Friday I give you the hot men of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!


11.09.2009

Word Count

604 WORDS BA-BEEE!
Go me, go me, go me.
In case you missed it, I'm very proud. Writing 100 words a day is harder than I thought it would be. I have to make an effort just to remember to do it every day, but I am getting it done.
95 more days to go. Thanks to all my friends for encouraging me, it really does help. I have to get back to my day job now.
Join me tomorrow for a the LSM club.

11.04.2009

Words words words

*sigh* This is a lot of work. WHO KNEW???

11.02.2009

100 Words Per Day for 100 Days

I didn't sign up for NaNo this year. I barely have time to get all the other crap, uh I mean stuff, done in my daily life right now. SO, instead, I agreed to write 100 words per day for 100 days less weekends. I have to be honest and say I'm not sure this was a better idea. ACK!

That's what I'm up to. 100 words per day for 100 days. I'm going to keep track of it here, on my blog, so that I'm somewhat accountable. Not that any of you know where I live, but you get the idea.

To all of my friends who did sign up for NaNo, best of luck, I have faith that you can do it.

10.27.2009

When a hero goes too far

I just finished reading a really good book by a really great author. It was the final book in a trilogy of three sisters. The third sister, we'll call her Miss X, was a troubled young woman who didn't believe in love and had her share of men. She didn't believe in relationships and thought men only wanted her for one thing and made it so with her behavior. Until she met our hero. We'll call him jerkface. Okay fine, we'll call him Mr. X.

Anyway, Miss X and Mr. X meet and fall in love, while she is unsure of his feelings for her and insecure of the relationship in general, he is amazed and dazzled that a girl like her would ever fall in love with a guy like him. Are you seeing the recipe for disaster here?

So Mr. X learns from another party that Miss X has cheated on him, and without asking her about it, without confirming it with another source, he assumes that it must be true because of her history with men. Miss X tries to explain to him that it's not true, but of course, she must be lying. When Miss X learns that she's pregnant by Mr. X, he sends her away, telling her that he doesn't care or believe that it's his baby.

So she leaves. She moves out of the city and decides she's going to make it on her own. And she does. When her son is 4 years old he starts asking about his father and instead of lying to him and telling him that he's dead, she decides it might be time to introduce the two of them. See if Mr. X is willing to have a relationship with his son.

Well Mr X. is pissed off. How dare she keep him from his son all this time. She should have tried harder, after all she knew that he didn't believe her. (Pardon me while I barf on all the righteous indignation.) So Mr. X decides to take something away from her, so she'll have a complete understanding of how devastating what she did was to his ego. Err his life? His time with his son? The relationship that he didn't have with his son?

So Jerkface, I mean Mr. X, takes it upon himself to play Miss X for a fool. Let her believe that he still loves her, that they have a chance together so she'll drop her guard and be devastated when he serves her with papers to take their son away from her.

This MIGHT be a forgivable act IF Mr. X realized what a complete stupid jerk head thing this was to do BEFORE he actually served her with papers. Once she's served, in my opinion, this is unforgivable. There is no going back from this, there is no apology that is appropriate, there is no diamond big enough to forgive this. How do you ever trust a man who would do something like this? How do you ever believe that he isn't playing you again? How can ever trust that he's telling you the truth? HOW? HOW? HOW?

What do y'all think? Am I over reacting? That never happens, I never do that, but I might consider it a possibility if you guys say so. Tell me your opinion. Inquiring minds and all that . . .

10.09.2009

LSMs Ba-beeee

I've been slacking and I'm sorry. Anyone remember the hot hay days of Chippendales? Well, here they are, for your viewing pleasure, the men you've all been waiting for . . .


10.07.2009

Everyone has a twin some where

This is my 2nd favorite dude in the whole world:




THIS is the super cute little boy from the Boots On video:



What do you think? Separated at birth? Aiden's mom swears she only had one, I dunno . . . .

10.06.2009

Federal Trade Commission Puts Their Nose Into Blogs

Anyone have any more clear information on this?

http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/lit_crit/ftc_blogger_rules_carry_11k_fines__139253.asp

Dirty Minds Winner . . . Again.

Silver has graciously given up her copy of Soul Magic by Jennifer Lyon because she has already pre-ordered her copy. I had my daughter draw a name out of a hat and the name she drew was . . . *drum roll please*






CECILE!!!!!







There ya are! Send me your snail mail address and I'll make sure you get your copy.

Happy reading.

10.05.2009

Dirty Minds Winner

Congratulations to Silver! She wins the contest with 7 correct answers. Send me your snail mail address and I'll make sure you get your copy of Soul Magic by Jennifer Lyon, when it comes out on October 27.

For those of you who are wondering the correct answers were:

1. Insomniac
2. Fire Drill
3. Arrow
4. Lettuce
5. Earthquake
6. Buck
7. Thread
8. Engine
9. Book
10. Door

Thanks to all my friends who came to play with me. This is fun, maybe we'll do it once a month. Who knows.

10.02.2009

Games for my friends

First off, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month.I know that everyone has their own breast cancer story, but the survivor in my life is my mom. My mom would not be with us today if she hadn't gone and gotten a mammogram. It literally saved her life. My mom's tumor was embedded deep in the tissue, so she never would have found it with a home exam. This is my plea to all of my friends, please please please get your annual mammogram. While it's not the most pleasant experience in the world, it's better than dying. SO, onto the game for the day.


Today, I have stolen clues from the game "Dirty Minds" (Copyright 1990 TDC Games, Inc.). The winner of today's game will receive a copy of Soul Magic by Jennifer Lyon when it comes out on October 27, 2009. So my friends, come play with me.


The Objective: To guess the correct "clean" answers to the dirty clues provided.


Clue #1:
I try to do it with sheep
I try all night to get the right position
I only sleep in snatches


Clue #2:
It's a premature evacuation
It's an alarming discharge
Some men wear rubbers during one


Clue #3
I have a stiff shaft
My tip penetrates
I come with a quiver


Clue #4
I get stuck with a piece of meat between the buns
When I get old, I get limp
You're never satisfied with a little head


Clue #5
I am a huge vibrator
When you're on me, the earth moves
I can give you a big crack


Clue #6
I'm game
I end in "U C K"
I'm horny


Clue #7
I need licking before the prickling
My end slides in a very small hole
I can slip out at the wrong time


Clue #8
I sometimes blow a rod
Oil makes me stroke much smoother
I can be used for pumping


Clue #9
I get fingered a lot
People stick things in me
I sometimes get laid on my spine


Clue #10
We sometimes have big knockers
You can ring our chimes with only one finger
We're all swingers.

Okay friends, let's see who can keep their minds out of the gutter. You have all weekend to get your answers in. I'll post the winner on Monday.

9.30.2009

Thoughts for the Day . . .

So we all get those e-mails, the ones that have the funny thoughts that you've seen 8 BILLION times. We scan through them and then delete them and think, those are fun, but I hope I never see that one again.


Well, my friends, I got this e-mail the other day with brand new and EXCITING thoughts of the day and it had me spitting diet coke through my nose. I knew I had to share. I hope you all get as big of a kick out of these as I did. Happy Hump Day!


Thoughts for the Day

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Bad decisions make good stories

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in. . . (10 second lapse) . . . ummm . . . Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

I think the freezer deserves a light as well

9.29.2009

The Horse Whisperer

I have ranted long and hard about The Horse Whisperer, the movie. Robert Redford's interpretation of this book just plain SUCKS. This is one of the best books ever written, in my humble opinion, and Redford bought the rights and ripped it apart. What makes it worse is Nicholas Evans let him.

I can't tell you how many people I have told, if you saw the movie and never read the book you are missing out. It is now with great pleasure that I share with you, this review, which I totally stole from Recorded Books.com. It's not just me folks:

4 out of 5 Stars Much more enjoyable than the movie!!!(Review of The Horse Whisperer)

This story came alive for me under the skillful reading of the narrator. . . Ive seen the movie and found myself wishing I had not because it made me want to picture the characters as the actors they were depicted by in the movie. The descriptions given of them though, gave them much more dimension and I would have pictured them entirely differently. Folks, if youve seen the movie and liked it. . . the book is even better! And the original ending, while taking me by surprise, is not to be missed. - Reviewer from Southern California

9.28.2009

Writing, the toughest job you'll ever love

Okay, I know I stole the title from that old Peace Corp commercial, but I thought it appropriate.

Webster defines the word author as: one that originates or creates, which is a pretty generic description. I know a lot of authors, some published, some not, and to define them as "one that creates" seems a little nondescript. The women that I know, who write, spill their blood on every page. They can spend thousands of hours, creating a new world and every single thing that lives inside it. A new race of people, a new language, new rules that make an age-old paranormal creature new and exciting again.

It all starts out with an idea. An idea that comes from out of nowhere. One day, you're driving in your car and a crazy woman driving faster than her beat up old Toyota appears to be capable of going, cuts you off. After you swear at her in multiple languages and give her an obscene gesture the thought runs through your mind that she just might be chasing after that idiot in the Hummer who tried to kill you just moments earlier. Maybe the idiot in the Hummer has stolen her prize Chihuahua and she has only minutes to get to the poor beast before she'll collapse from not having her seizure medication. And so it begins. The hours and days of researching Chihuahuas and endless hours talking with vets. Do Chihuahuas really have seizures? What would cause such a thing? Is there a cure? Can a Chihuahua have epilepsy?

We pour hours of our heart, soul and anything else we can possible put into the mix into this woman with the crazy Chihuahua fetish. We discover things about her and her life, that honestly, we didn't need to know. We learn so much about being a veterinarian and what kind of person would truly kidnap a dog that we dream about it. A lot. We keeps pads of paper and pens by the side of our bed, on the off chance that something brilliant comes to us in sleep. We do all of this, so that we can tell the crazy woman's story with a little bit of realism. So that the readers that we one day hope to have, get a true sense of her fear, her love for her animal and the understanding of just how much the anti-depressants really do help.

We go through all of this, so that we can submit to an agent/publisher/CP who will say. . . insert negative comment here.

Why do we do it? Why do we subject ourselves and our talent to this kind of criticism? Why can't we just write for ourselves and be happy with it? Be happy with knowing that we did the best that we could? Because we want the world to love it as much as we do. It's an illness really.

Why do you write?

9.22.2009

Mother Daughter Bonding Time

Every mother/daughter relationships has that one thing. The thing that you can talk about and the age difference, the authority and the rest of the b.s. falls away. I am a lucky mom. My daughter and I have lots of those things, at least I think we do.

Crafts are one of those things. While I am trying desperately to get a stocking cross stitched for my daughter before Christmas this year, (yeah right) she has finished her project. All that's left for us to do is mount it and put it away until the time to decorate for Christmas this year. So without further ado, I give you my daughter's finished project and my semi-complete project:





So tell me, what is it that you do, or did, with your kids? Don't have kids? What about your parents, anything special you did when you were a kid? How about now?

9.17.2009

Witch Stuff Rules!

I was at JoAnn's with my daughter last night looking into stuff to make for the many babies that are winging their way into our lives, in 8 or 9 months, and I saw the cutest witch stuff. I love Halloween. . .

9.16.2009

Vampires

I just finished watching the series premiere of The Vampire Diaries. Let me preface this post by saying, I loved Ian Somerhalder in Lost. Boone was one of my favorite characters and I was sad to see him go.

Did anyone else watch this? I know it premiered last week, but I did the whole DVR thing and just watched it on Tuesday night. I love this show. I would like to give respect where respect is due, this series is based on a series of books by L.J. Smith called, what else, The Vampire Diaries, and while I did think I might want to pick these books up, cause the show is so totally awesome, I think I'm going to pass. I'm already reading comments from readers of the books, that while the show is great, they changed a few characters, a few characteristics to make it work for TV. I hate it when they do that even if it works, so I'm just gonna go with, I love this show!

SO! In honor of The Vampire Diaries, I'm give you some of my favorite vampires. Some new, some not so new, but favorites nonetheless. . .


9.10.2009

LSM - Cops/Private Eyes/FBI Agents/Secret Agents

Ladies! Welcome back. This edition of LSM is only partial LSM the other half still have their shirts on but they're super H O T so we forgive them. I give you cops, FBIS and such. Happy Thursday!


9.09.2009

The LSM Club is Back!

Thanks to Silver and her wonderful mind, tomorrow's LSM club will feature hot and smexy cops and PI's from your favorite TV shows and movies. I have a few smoldering through my head. Any suggestions? All are welcome. Check back tomorrow.