This is rough and by rough I mean, I wrote it and I left it. Be kind.

20 years ago…
She had no idea how long they had been making out on his bedroom floor, but she could see light filtering through the blinds so it must be morning. He pulled away and began alternating licking and biting his way down her neck adding to her growing collection of hickies. She inhaled sharply as he touched on a particularly sensitive area and she plunged her fingers into his long curling hair to guide him where she wanted him next. She wrapped her legs around his jean clad ass and pushed his erection into to her panties making them both groan.
She knew that he was the one she would give her virginity to. She also knew that she wouldn’t be the first girl to do so, but she didn’t care. She loved him; she would love him forever; even though he had no idea.
The bedroom door opened and they turned their hooded eyes to the door breathing heavy. “Sorry.” Their friend Bobbi said and closed the door.
He turned his face back to her and stared into her eyes. His eyes were ice blue except for a small dot near the bottom part of the iris that appeared to be black. Extraordinary, unique, unforgettable. He adjusted his hips and she closed her eyes on a groan. When she opened her eyes again he was still staring at her, so she ran her index finger along the swollen edge of his bottom lip. He quickly pulled her finger into his mouth and gently held it between his teeth, using his tongue to play with the tip of it.
He released her finger and said, “I’m glad we haven’t had sex yet, that way when we do it’ll mean something. It’ll be special.”
She knew in her heart it was true and pulled him down to kiss him again.

17 years ago…
They sat together in her car while the 2nd movie of the double feature played at the drive-in. They spent more time talking and eating popcorn than they had actually watching the movies, but she didn’t care, she was just happy to be spending time with him again.  She couldn’t even remember why they had stopped seeing each other; it seemed as if they just drifted away from each other. Not that they had ever been in a “committed” relationship. He had never officially been her boyfriend, but he had been in her heart. Sitting here with him now she realized that she had never stopped loving him. She wasn’t surprised though, they had never stopped being friends and just looking at him still made her heart thump in her chest.
Their lives had gone in separate directions. They had grown up and apart. She was getting ready to move out of state, to the other side of the country and apparently he was getting ready to find his future wife. This was probably the last time she would ever see him. She drank in every detail. His curly nutmeg colored hair, it had grown out a little bit and was now a several inches below his shoulders, his tall wiry frame, and those devastating eyes. She still saw him staring at her with those remarkable eyes in her dreams.
“I think I’m just ready to settle down and start a family.” He was saying
“Don’t you think you’re a little young for that?” she asked with a smile.
“Maybe, but it’s what I want.”
“Do you have someone in mind?”
“No, not yet.” He looked at her with a lopsided grin. It made her knees go weak. Thank goodness she was sitting down.
“Marry me.” She said. She didn’t even know where it had come from. Did she mean it? Yes, she realized. She did.
He laughed, “Don’t joke.”
“Who’s joking?”
“Stop it. You’re just humoring me.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
She just smiled at him and focused on the movie. Not sure if he was letting her down gently or if he really believed she was joking.

9 years ago…
She sat at the bar as she watched her friend pull a couple of beers for customers. “Bobbi, he auditioned for my husband’s band! Do you know how bad that would be?” she wailed and she put her head in her hands. Every time she closed her eyes she saw those ice blue eyes.
“You’re sure it’s him?” Bobbi asked as she wiped down the counter.
“Yes, I’m sure. When Eddie asked him if he knew me do you know what he told him?” Bobbi shook her head as she poured her another shot of tequila. “He said, ‘Dude, I never slept with her’.” Bobbi threw her head back and laughed. “This is NOT funny!”
“I’m sorry, but it is. Did he think Eddie was going to beat him up? You guys haven’t been together in years.” she laughed even harder, wiping tears away from her eyes with the bar towel.
“You’re not helping.” She said and shot the tequila back in a quick efficient motion.
Bobbi sobered. “I’m sorry I just don’t know what to say. Everyone has a first love, yours just seems to keep coming back to haunt you. Besides, isn’t he married to that Karen chick? Or was it Sharon? Shannon?”
“Apparently divorced.” She shook her head and laid it back down on the counter. “What am I going to do?”
“Pray he doesn’t join the band. Your marriage will never survive it.”

3 years ago…
What am I doing here? She thought to herself sitting in the back of the dark heavy metal bar drinking a beer. Why do I still come to these shows? She sighed as she watched Eddie on stage making the teenie boppers go crazy, all ages shows were the worst. She knew he was cheating on her, knew he thought he was being slick about it even though she could see the skank from her table. She wasn’t even sure she cared anymore. This is what her life had come to, a joke of a marriage with a joke of a man. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Marriage was supposed to be fun and romantic and full of give and take and love. There seemed to be plenty of give in her marriage, it was just all one sided. She didn’t expect perfection, she knew better than that, but there had to be something better than this.
She watched as Eddie fell to his knees on stage and got right in the face of the skank, so close that she wrapped her arms around his neck and gyrated to the beat with him. That’s it, I’m out of here she thought and stood to head home. That’s when she saw him, standing at the bar with his arm around some girl’s shoulders ordering drinks. She froze in place and her stomach fell to her feet. She felt her skin get hot and her face start to tingle. She was NOT going to have a panic attack. Was she? Could this night get any worse? He turned to face his “date” and she watched as his thumb caressed her cheekbone and his eyes twinkled with mischief before he bent his head to kiss her. Memories that she had tucked away in a dark corner came flooding back to her. The feel of his hands touching her face as he pressed delicate kissed her eyelids, her forehead, and her cheeks before he took her mouth. Apparently it could get worse. She had to get out of here. There was no way she could sit here and watch her husband flirt with the skank and the love of her life appear blissfully happy with someone else.
She wound her way through the crowd and to the exit keeping her head down and her eyes on the floor. She was making a quick getaway until she bumped into someone and sloshed their beer down the front of her t-shirt. “Shit!” she exclaimed and jumped back. “I’m so sorry, let me buy you another beer.” She said as she reached into her back pocket to grab some cash and looked right up into his ice blue eyes. Fuck. She didn’t know how long she stared at him before recognition dawned in those eyes. His eyebrows went up and he started to say something, before he could she shoved the money at him and bolted for the door.

Present Day…
Elizabeth Donovan lay on her back starring at the living room ceiling from her second hand couch in her laundry day underwear. Single life is the way to go, she thought to herself. If she didn’t want to do the laundry until midnight, she didn’t have to. If she wanted to have cold pizza for breakfast and cereal for dinner she could. She could lie around in her ugly underwear all day, hell all weekend if she felt like it and nobody would say a word. The world was her oyster to do with whatever her little heart desired. Her stomach growled. Apparently she desired something to eat.
She sat up and looked at her ridiculously large and loveable black lab mix Jake lying on the floor. “You hungry Jake?” Jake lifted his head and groaned. “I know, I don’t want to get up either, but there are bodily functions that must be dealt with.” She stood up and headed to the kitchen as Jake laid his head back down and went back to sleep. She opened the refrigerator and stared at a gallon of milk, some orange juice that appeared to be going through a life change and a loaf of bread. Okay, one downfall to the single life, no one else went grocery shopping. “How about a pizza?” she asked Jake. He groaned. “I agree, it sounds like a plan.” She sat down at her computer and ordered a large works pizza online and headed to her bedroom to put on clothes before the delivery guy showed up.
30 minutes later the doorbell rang and she was starving and ready to be seen by the outside world. She had her brown hair pulled into a pony tail and cut off shorts and a tank top to cover up the laundry day underwear. Dressed enough, she answered the door. “Hi Tony.”
“Hi Beth. How are you tonight?” Tony  asked
“Good. The food fairies didn’t come again while I slept so you could very well be saving my life. Jake’s too.” At the smell of pizza Jake lumbered to the door and was giving Tony a thorough sniffing.
“We do what we can.” He grinned handing over her pizza.
She handed him money to cover both the pizza and a healthy tip, she always over tipped people who brought her food, said her goodbyes and went inside to stuff herself silly.
Three pieces of pizza and a stomachache later she sat on the couch staring at her laptop. Social media, what an amazing creation and incredible time suck. She had somehow managed to waste several hours of her day liking other people’s posts, catching up with old friends and playing as if she were a real live farmer. Hours of her life she’d never get back.
Jake had taken to sitting patiently by the front door alternating from staring at her to staring at the front door. It was as if he had an alarm clock in his head and knew when it was time to go for a walk. “Alright, alright, alright.” She said. She started to get up when her laptop played the notification sound. “Just a minute. I promise.” She sat back down, looked at her screen and realized that she had a new message. That was odd, she hardly ever received private messages. She clicked on the icon and there was in fact a message, but it was from someone she didn’t know. She was getting ready to delete the message when a name popped out at her, Robbie Nelson. Hi Elizabeth, I was asked to pass along a message to you from Robbie Nelson. He wants you to text him. His number is…
“Holy shit.” She sat back on her couch and closed her eyes. Robbie Nelson. His ice blue eyes came to her instantly. His beautiful face hovering above hers as he said all the right things that a young girl wanted to hear. She shook her head, stood up and grabbed the leash. “Come on Jake. Let’s walk that man right out of my head.” Jake wiggled with delight and then sat down, ready to be leashed.