Validation

Merriam Webster defines validation as: 1 a : to make legally valid : ratify b : to grant official sanction to by marking c : to confirm the validity of (an election); also : to declare (a person) elected
2 a : to support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis b : to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of
synonyms see confirm

Who doesn't need validation every once in a while? I know I do. When it comes to my job, I don't need constant praise but a "good job" every once in a while goes a long way. The majority of people that I've worked for have lived (and died) by the "no news is good news" philosophy of supervision. I disagree with this. Everyone needs to know that they're doing a good job once in a while.

Of course, not every one feels this way...

Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.

Fritz Perls
American, Psychologist Quotes

But hey, they're entitled to their opinion right?

When I learned I was pregnant with my daughter I promised myself I would try my best to be a good mom. My mom and I have an excellent relationship. Now. When I was growing up that wasn't the case. I promised myself that I wouldn't be the same kind of mom mine was. The problem that I kept debating in my head though, was how to do this. How do you balance being a good mom and being a responsible one? You hear terrible stories of "those moms". Moms that are so busy being friends with their kids that they forget to be a parent as well. Moms that are so over protective of their kids that they go out into the world unaware of the realities of our society. Moms that are so ashamed of their behavior as a child/teen that they assume all kids behave the way that they did and don't allow their children the freedom that they probably deserve and have earned by their own behavior.

I didn't want to be any of those moms. I wanted to be the kind of mom that laid down the rules and didn't falter. The kind of mom that could be counted on to be at recitals, award ceremonies and such and could also be trusted to confide in. I didn't want their to be any subjects that were off limits. I wanted my child to be able to discuss anything with me and feel safe while doing it. I set pretty high goals for myself and thought I had done a good job of sticking to my ideals.

This past Mother's Day I got a letter from my daughter. I would love to share the whole letter with you, but I think she would be upset with me, so I'm only going to share bits and pieces of it. She told me...

...you're aren't just my mom, you're like a best friend. I know that I can trust you with anything, and I know that you'll always stand by me.

It was/is the best Mother's Day present in the whole world. One of the people that I love more than life itself is proud of me and thinks I've done a good job. Everyone needs validation.

Happy Friday my friends.